They grew up on me

 Cat Stevens sang a song called "Father Son". It is a discourse of a father and his son and how they see the world differently. A couple of weeks back I wrote that I have realized that my sons are now grown men. This week I am looking back at when they were just small boys. 

Joshua was 4 years old when he got a younger brother. I have always felt that he had to grow up maybe too fast. he got shoved off my lap by this new baby. Although Joshua did travel with me everywhere. Before he started school we spent a lot of time at auction barns buying cattle.

One of my favorite memories was when Joshua wrote a "paper" for school when he was in, I think first grade, and said he wanted his brother Micah to be in heaven with him some day. 

Why is every boy fascinated with guns and violence, although I do think Joshua is quite safe here as Micah hasn't figured out yet that there is a trigger. 

Younger brothers always want to do what their older brothers are doing. Sometimes much to the annoyance of the older sibling.

 Then along came Matthew and Micah had a younger brother.

Those were good days. I look at this picture and think how innocent we all were. None of the storms of life we were to endure were even on the horizon yet.

Sometimes  Micah having 2 brothers, one older to boss him a round and one younger to follow him around seemed too much to handle and he would go off to his room for a while to be by himself.

Still they spent a lot of time together and the pictures still make me smile. Joshua and Micah taking care of Matthew.

Notice Joshua gets the pedal tractor. Matthew gets to ride in the wagon. Micah was the one who was ordered to push. 

And push some more.

Until he wised up and decided he would ride as well. Joshua pedal a little harder.

Three boys growing up on a farm. I thought that was where we would always be. We would be farming land and feeding cattle together.

My plans were not God's plans. Today Joshua works for Agriland. Micah is a CPA and Matthew is starting his 2nd year in Seminary. God will put these young men where He wants them to be. That might be one of the hardest things I ever had to do was to say to God, "You love my sons more than I do and You know far better than I do what is best for them." 

It is difficult to let go of your children, but only by giving them to God can a parent have peace.

I have enjoyed every age of my sons up to this point and I plan on enjoying them though the next seasons of their lives. Take time to spend with your children in all the seasons of life and love them. Love them even when they are not doing things your "way". 
I had a woman ask me to pray for her son a couple of years ago. He had stopped going to church and was living life with some pretty obvious sins. She asked me what she should do. I asked her "Have you talked to him?" She seemed surprised by my question. I followed up, " Have you told your son God loves him? Have you told your son Jesus died to give him eternal life?" She said,"But he doesn't come to church. He knows what I think." My reply was, "How does he know if you don't tell him. Don't worry about him coming to church. If he comes to know Jesus as his savior that will fix itself. First talk to him about God and don't talk about church attendance, love your son."
I thank God that I do not have that concern about my sons. But If you know one of my sons, tell them "your dad is proud of you and he loves you." I might find it difficult to say to them.

Ignorance is bliss??

Last week Sunday I was leading the worship service at a small church. A young girl gave me this after the service. I did not ask when she made it. I didn't want to know if she was so bored by the message she had to find something to entertain herself. There are times when ignorance is indeed bliss. This might be one of those times.

We have 3 tenants moving in the next 2 weeks. One house is going to need some work. There are 2 doors that are broken. Sharon and I went down to Menards in Ottumwa and bought the doors this week. I put a coat of polyurethane on them to get ready for a speedy door swap. I did not ask how solid wood doors get broken. This is another time when ignorance might be the best path. I told the tenant I would be deducting the price of the doors from her deposit.  She wanted to negotiate the price of the doors. 

These are the doors that are broken back when they were new. We put in mission style oak doors when we purchased the house. They are way more expensive than the 6 panel oak doors I am putting back in. Now all the doors will not match anymore and she thinks I am overcharging her.

Micah and I have been shingling this house the last 2 weeks. It has been a slow process because it is a total tear off and it has from 3 to 4 layers of shingles on it. Then parts of it need sheeting as the bottom layer is wooden shingles on spaced boards. It just doesn't get a whole lot more fun than that. I will be ecstatic when this one is done. 

As of right now we have 2.56 square of shingles to put on (yes I measured to make sure we had enough shingles, this was a time when ignorance would not be a good plan). Except of course for about 3000 pounds of old shingles still laying on the ground beside the house that have to be picked up and hauled to the landfill. We have already hauled away 5800 pounds. I am thinking the house might just float away with all the weight no longer holding it down. I don't think I want to know how much stress that weight was putting on the rafters.

 

The last owner had 1/4 of the roof replaced in the last couple of years, but he did not want to spend the money doing the entire roof. I had bought this house last fall. Sharon and I walked through it and made an offer without either Micah or Matthew seeing the house. I asked Micah last week after we had half the roof tore off ,"who was the idiot who bought this house anyway?" Micah said "it's making a pretty good return." I said, "good then lets hire someone to finish the roof." His reply was "It's not making that good of a return." After a few more back breaking hours I think he was beginning to see things my way. "maybe we could hire a few high school boys if we have another one like this." Nothing like hard labor to make a man start to change his mind.

So now it is time for a confession. We have a standing offer on this house which needs a new roof. Sharon and I walked through it. I saw it needed the roof fixed ASAP. You can see the broken curled shingles looking like a fringe on the roof in this photo. So once again I might be buying a house with a nasty roof to fix. As Micah asked me couple of years back when a ceiling was falling in a house "didn't you even look at the roof on this thing?" Yea, I looked at it, but I didn't say I got too close." See I was going with that ignorance thing again. If you assume the roof isn't going to leak this year you just might get lucky. Right??

 That is not the case with this house. See the ceiling. See the ceiling leak. I do not know at this point if I want the bank that has this house to accept our offer. I need some time before climbing on another roof and I know this one is no longer doing it's job of keeping the inside dry. 

I think that as I have gotten more mature (that is what I am going with now instead of admitting I am getting older) I have come to realize how much I do not know. It seems like every time I learn something I find out how much more I do not know.

There is no shame in not knowing. There is shame in not wanting to learn. I have learned that a lot of what I thought was true when I was 25 was not correct, and that holds for every decade of my life including the one I have just ended.

People have a tendency to think I am a little nuts when I tell them I like to read at least 2 books I total disagree with each year. I have read the Koran (not an approved version as all approved versions are written in Arabic and I only know 2 phrases in Arabic), I have read "The History of God" (that one could always put me to sleep).  Reading what I know I will disagree with makes me think about what I do believe. 

We could live our lives in ignorance. Blissfully ignoring anything that might cause us to rethink what we hold to be true, or we could devour knowledge. I was once told, "if you try to learn too much you will begin to doubt God". No I find the more I learn the more I realize I do not understand God. He is so much greater than I am, that I should never try to make Him fit what my mind can understand.

This is where I can say emphatically that I am ignorant. I know very little of the ways of God and can not even begin to comprehend why God does what He does.

So I do not understand God and am not able to comprehend His ways. Is ignorance bliss? Yes, if I can tell God,"You are so much greater than I am, You take care of my life and my problems and all will be well with my soul."

Over the speed limit

August 12 I will be 60 years old. So hang in there with me because I am looking back. The time seems to have flown by.

This is the wedding picture of Maria Valster and Gerrit Van Zee my maternal grandparents

This is Emma Boot and Jacob Spoelstra's wedding picture

Wilma Van Zee and Arie Spoelstra married and as they say to this union 4 children were born. Their eldest son Terry died when he was 9 months old.

This is Marlys and me. Sitting all nice and happy for a picture.

I think I was always following along behind her when I was young. When your sister is 2 years older she knows so much more than you do.

But I think she took advantage of that at times. Do you notice who gets all the checkers. That's right the little kid gets told what to do.

All dressed up in our winter finery on the front porch where we grew up

Ah, yes, seconds later when the camera takes the next picture I have a feeling I got smacked by my older sister in between. She still has that angelic smile asking "what's the matter, I didn't do anything."

Then Crissie came along and I had someone to push around.

What an idyllic scene. 3 happy children 

Oh, wait a minute don't touch that, it's mine. I remember one Christmas, Crissie got nicer presents than I did, so I traded her. No I did not ask her if she wanted to trade. Fact is when I say traded I mean I just flat out stole hers. Hey life's tough kid get used to it. There is always someone going to try to push you around.

We all went off to school. This was way before lunch was served at school. Look at those wonderful lunch boxes. 

We had our pictures taken after church one Sunday morning. 

Dad standing proudly (I hope) behind his 3 children. Mom was the one who knew how to run that old camera. Taking pictures was a big deal back then. This camera had to be held absolutely still because of the long exposure. I remember mom had it propped up on a garden tool to keep it steady.

The night this picture was taken, we had to go to a local motel. Families were waiting in one room while pictures were taken in the next room. I have no idea how long we had to wait, but to me at the time it seemed like hours. See how happy and smiling I was by this point.

And then we lived through the phenomenon that was the early 70s. Crazy man.

I don't remember sitting in a chair the way they were meant to be used.

Leisure suits, way cool. How many polyester were slaughtered to make that sartorial splendor?  

1980 came and went. I met Sharon. Decided I better hang onto this one and have never regretted it. 

 

That was back in the day when the newly weds car was decorated by those young men who were single. Wow, look at the leather jacket and the hat. I know all the men are jealous and wish they had a photo like that of themselves.

Joshua was born. I'm a dad!

Then Micah and last came Matthew.

The 3 amigos. 

Our sons were growing up as part of a "farm" family and we never thought it would be any different.  

 

 The years went past and left a lot of fond memories.

 

And somehow we got older. Dad and Mom passed and now my sisters and I are the old generation.

So as I turn 60 I can say it has been a blast most of the time. I think some people would look at our lives and ask how can you say that. There have been health issues. There have been financial disasters. I was almost killed in a farm accident when I was 15. Missed half a year of school and was left with nerve and muscle damage. But through it all God has been faithful. Looking back I know it has been the adversity that has made me who I am. It has been the tough times that showed me who God is. 

My grandfather Van Zee was blind. My father was deaf. How could I complain when my forefathers had such disabilities.

This week Tuesday morning I told Sharon I was taking the day off. I deserved one I have been working 6 days a week and leading worship services on Sundays. She told me "you need to buy a house." I'm not sure if she was serious, but oh well.

Then she left for at least part of the day. That'll teach her. Our real estate agent called me at 11:30. "I am just pulling up to a house. I haven't even been in it yet but it is going to need a cash buyer. No bank will lend on it. you interested?"

I replied "give me 10 minutes and I will be there." Court ordered notice to the sheriff for eviction of tenant on the front door. Real Estate agent and I calculated $60,000 in needed repairs to make the house sell-able. She shot me a price. I replied at 80% of what she thought and I bought a house. That should keep me busy for the next few months and I won't be thinking about taking any "days off". So at least I have my first project lined up for my sixth decade.I wouldn't want to start slacking off at this point.