First of all on a random note, thanks to Chris and Julie for the cupboards last fall. Second house that we have replaced old or destroyed cupboards with your old ones.
Micah and I got the new (old) cupboards installed today.
So last Friday my phone was ringing and it was a number from Texas. Yea, I don't know anyone from Texas so I assumed it was a spam call, but you never know because once when I answered a call from Texas, I rented the man a house. So I answered, but of course since it was from Texas and I expected it to be a recording of some perky female attempting to sell me health insurance, I answered in Spanish.
"Hola Como Estas?"
"Is this Micah?" (See he didn't even comment on my flawless Spanish. Kinda cold if you ask me.)
"No, this is Royce."
"I am trying to get a hold of Spoelstra Properties, L.L.C." ( Oh, I see, Micah has taken over the business has he.)
"You can talk to me"
"Are you interested in buying a house?" (Ok, I probably shouldn't be but I am what I am.)
"Depends on the house and the price."
"We are asking $30,000, and we need a cash buyer to close in less than a week. (Now that is interesting, he had my attention.)
"Give me the address and I will do a drive by to see if it is worth following up on."
I was about 3 blocks away.
"Stay on the phone with me while I check it out."
He stayed on the line as I drove over and past the house. It was a house the owner had tried to sell earlier this year by putting a sign in the front yard. When I called him he was asking $60,000. That looked a little steep to me at the time. Now the price was cut in half. Time to see what cards they were holding.
"Can I get inside to see the house?"
"Yes, I will call the owner and see if you can look now." (Well, they were eager, weren't they.)
"Ok call him and I am going to go buy a faucet and you let me know."
He calls back, "The owner is waiting for you. tell him you are our partner." (That's not going to happen pal. We are not partners. I don't know you from a hole in the dirt and if you have bought this house, why is there still an owner on the premise and you don't want him to know I am a buyer?)
10 minutes later, I am headed back to look a the house. The owner was waiting for me outside.
The roof will need to be replaced next year.
Folding doors on bedrooms and bathroom, um, NO!
That's going to have to go.
I don't think an electrician wired that light. At least it is on a junction box, although I prefer the junction boxes in the ceiling and the wires in the attic.
Once again, you have to secure that 220 volt line and box to a wall.
See the door lock? It is a little hook and eye about 8 inches from the top of the door.
Lot of problems but everything is fixable so yea, we could be interested in the house.
Called the man in Texas back. "We'll give $30,000 for the house."
"Great we need to close the deal before the 14th because it will be deeded to a new owner because of unpaid taxes on the 14th." (10 days from today? This could be fun to watch.)
Then their ignorance of Iowa came into play. "We have a closing agent and will get you title insurance."
"Do you have an abstract."
"What is an abstract?" (Oh this is going to be fun)
"An abstract is a list of all previous owners and all debts and liens on the property. If you don't have one it will be about 6 weeks to get one made. If you have one you might get it updated in 2 weeks"
"I'll call you right back. If he has an abstract who handles the update?"
"Johnston Abstract and Mahaska title services. They are on-line look them up."
20 minutes later he calls. "Abstract is on the way to the abstract company they told me they could get it updated in 2 days and would only cost $200. Can I tell them you will pay for abstracting costs?" (Oh you poor misguided boy, There is no way they are going to do abstracting work for $200.)
"Sure, you can tell them that but it comes off the purchase price at closing. I will need that in writing. You will also have to cover the property taxes due by the end of September for the entire year and prorate the taxes due next year. That will be another $1,600 for this year and whatever is owed to prorate for next year's taxes off the purchase price"
"What we didn't know there were more taxes due than just the overdue certificate." (Well welcome to Iowa my uniformed friend.)
"Who are you having write the deed?"
"We will call a bank in Oskaloosa and have them do it." (What world are these guys living in?)
"No, you will have to have an attorney draw up the deed at the sellers expense."
"Who is an attorney we could use in Oskaloosa?" (So did they want me to tuck them in at night and read them a bed time story as well?)
"Just get the abstract to my attorney and we will go from there."
Monday was labor day, one day down with no progress. Tuesday and Wednesday the abstract was updated. Thursday Mike has the abstract and there are problems. Liens from the State of Iowa against the house. I called Danyel a closing agent who said "there is no way the sale could close in 2 days". Whoops, just ran out of time and the county is going to deed the property to an investor for unpaid taxes.
Called the boys in Texas. "There are liens that have to be paid off, no way to close before Tuesday or Wednesday at the earliest that is the 15th or 16th. You all, just lost the house."
"What if we paid all overdue taxes and closed the sale after that?" (You poor blind boys. That money has to be delivered by the person who owes the taxes in person, and he is involved with you because he has no money.)
"Sure go ahead and pay the taxes and I will buy the house."
Called back an hour later, " Hey our financial guys think if we are going to pay the taxes we will just list the house and see if we can get more."
"Whoa, You will owe me $220 for a title opinion and $685 for updating the abstract if you try to pull that now."
"We have an option B. We pay half the back taxes and you pay the other half and take the half you pay off the purchase price." (Sure sign me up to lay out a chunk of cash with out documentation)
"Send me a purchase agreement that says I am paying earnest money equal to half of the back taxes, Wire me the other half and send me proof of the wire and we will be back in business."
Took them a day to get the agreement drawn up, took them another couple of hours to get the money wired (To a bank account I have been using for incoming funds and then moving them out of the account immediately)
The funds came in. I transferred them out to a safe account. Got the cash. met the owner and we went to the courthouse and he paid off his back taxes with hours to spare, went to the Clerk of Court office to get exact amount he owed in fines to the State of Iowa. I took him to his attorney's office to set up getting a deed written. All of this in the pouring rain. Good times.
So these guys from Texas, "bought" a house in Oskaloosa that they never closed on and never paid for but resold to me before they were going to put out any cash. Well that didn't work did it. They are now on the hook for back taxes, fines to the State, abstracting costs, deed and title costs and taxes due now and in the future. The Iowa owner is getting all of his debts paid and a little cash. I am going to end up with the house. The boys in Texas thought we were playing Texas Hold Em but we were actually playing Go Fish and they got caught.
