Christmas 2011

I did quite a bit of pulpit supply in the past year. One would think that it would be wise to check what time the services started before one heads off down the road on a Sunday morning wouldn’t you? Yea well, that would be you and not me. I set off for the small berg of Tracy, Iowa one bright Sunday morning and about 2/3rds of the way there realized I was going to get there by 9:05. My goal is usually to arrive around 9:15 so I slowed way down and was dawdling along at about 25 miles an hour enjoying the scenery. I drove around the last curve as the street descends down to the church and wondered why there were so many cars in the parking lot so early for church. Then I noticed the Elder standing on the front steps of the church looking up the street and that sinking feeling hit. This church service started at 9:00 am. They were kind about it (to my face anyway) and did even call a few weeks later to see if I could fill in for them again. I think the elder who called gave a sigh of relief though when I said I was already engaged. How can you listen to a man on the pulpit when he doesn’t even know what time it is, right?

I really should hold Sharon responsible for that one as she said when I told her my time schedule for the morning she thought to herself, that does not match where and when he has to be places. She also has not been paying enough attention to how I am dressed when I leave the house. I had a flat tire that needed to be fixed and went up to the local repair shop to get it holding air again. I thought everyone was looking at me just a little strange but I have become used to that with time. When I was back home Sharon then politely asked me why I was wearing my shirt inside out. Hey the wife’s duty is to make sure I am dressed and where I am supposed to be on time and in my opinion she has been falling down on the job this year.

The boys had Spirit Week at school for homecoming and they had to dress up for several of the days. One day both Micah and Matthew borrowed some of my clothing to wear to school. Quite an honor for the old man when your sons ask to wear your clothes. It just goes to show what a sartorial success I have always been and continue to be. That is until in the evening when I asked what the theme of the day was that they both borrowed clothing from me to wear. I really think at that point they should have lied and told me something like “designer day” or “dress well” day instead of “It was nerd day, Dad.”   

                Sharon has been keeping our business website updated. I would do it myself except I have no clue how to work with a website. I do not think that makes me old fashioned, out dated, or just old and all of those snotty young people who might think so can just hush up. I am sure Sharon is great at working with a computer although there was that little incident that made me wonder. She was hooking the internet up to a computer at school when the schools whole computer system shut down. In my day at school that would not have mattered in the least. We did our homework and took our tests the way man was created to take tests and do homework, with a number two pencil on a good old fashioned piece of paper. Well all the teachers in the elementary school were a little put out that the system had crashed while some of them were giving tests and others were doing whatever one does with the internet and computers in class rooms now days. Did you know if you take a computer cable and plug it into the internet and then plug the other end of the cable into the internet you create a loop and shut down the system? Yea Sharon found that out, nothing like trial and error is there. I don’t think she is sharing who did that at school so let’s just keep it between us and not tell, OK?

                We had an Oldsmobile Intrigue that the boys drove. You will notice the key word there is had. Matthew was at school one afternoon for cross country practice. He started up the car and drove toward the exit when the man he works for texted him on his phone. He knew that once he was out of the parking lot he was not to check texts but he was still in the parking lot, right? What could go wrong if you just look down and check who the text was from, right? Um, you could hit a cement base of a light pole. Drive the bumper into the radiator, crack the windshield, and destroy the hood and both front clips. There might have been a little justice there though. Did you know that when air bags go off they go off with a bang and can really give you a welt on your face? It looked like someone had smacked him in the head and I did not even have to do it.



Matthew



                I know my younger sons did not get the education one gets by growing up on the farm. I thought I would start to fill in the gaps in a well rounded education by having Matthew change the battery cable end on my pickup. We opened the hood and I gave him the wrenches and pointed. He put the wrench on the bolt on the ground end and gave it a good tug. Did I mention that I had thrown away the plastic cover on the live post when it cracked and broke a few years ago? Well Matthew spun that wrench around and connected with the live post. Did you know you can weld a wrench across the battery terminals just like that? The sparks flew and Matthew jumped back about ten feet, and they say white boys can’t jump. I grabbed the wrench and jerked it free but that battery was dead as dead can be. For an hour or so I thought there were a few computer components that were fried as well, but a heavy battery charge seems to have cured those problems.

                We seem to be traveling in too many vehicles to the same destination. One evening when we went to church the boys had to be there early for some practice, so Sharon and I came later. After church Sharon and I went to the car and Micah came as well. We waited impatiently for Matthew to come while saying a few not so kind things about why that boy was not coming so we could go home. Then Micah’s cell phone rang. It was Matthew waiting impatiently for Micah to drive him back home in the car they had driven to church. You would think one would remember if you drove a car somewhere wouldn’t you?

               

                Micah and Matthew worked roofing again this summer. For some reason they seem to enjoy the job. It just looks like hot hard work to me. One afternoon as I was laboring away at my desk in my air conditioned office, you will notice I was not on a roof enjoying the job of roofing, I saw Matthew get dropped off at the end of our driveway. He seemed to be a bit gimpy. I met him at the door and asked him what he had done to his foot. Well, it turns out HE had not done anything to his foot. His older brother Micah had nailed his big toe to the roof with a nail gun. I think we might have raised those boys right though. I am told when Micah nailed him to the roof all Matthew said was “OK Micah”. That might be a bit more restraint than I would have had in the situation. Speaking of restraint I do believe I have run out of space. Have a fun new year.