What love Really Means

JJ Heller sings the song What Love Really Means.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgGUKWiw7Wk&list=PLA9E99F394BF5B85D&index=36
 That is a pretty good question. I know that it probably means a lot of different things to different people. It means different things if you are male or female. It made me start wondering one morning what it meant to me and really what came to mind was not a definition. It was a series of images. It meant crying where Sharon could not see me after I had just heard for the first time that the diagnosis was cancer. Sitting in an examining room while tears ran down my face knowing that our innocence was gone forever, knowing that we had three small boys who needed their mother. 

 It meant being unable to eat breakfast on the day they did the second bone marrow biopsy, and not having eaten for close to 24 hours almost fainting while holding her hand as you hear that awful sound of a needle puncturing into a pelvic bone. It meant years later being blindsided by the fact that what you thought was going to be a short easy treatment in a morning, leaves you sitting in a waiting room as she is in surgery having a pic line put in so they can actually run all of her blood through a machine to clean out the IGMs over several days, and crying in public again for the you do not know how many-th time. It means watching them put mouse proteins in the IV and then seeing the reaction of violent nausea that follows and keeping a hold on your emotions because you are needed to be there to hold her hand.

 It means every time the tests come back from the blood work, you want to know the results and yet the fear of looking at them is almost too great to bear, as though you are jumping from an airplane and you are not sure if the parachute will open this time. It means reading the results and sometimes just trying to breathe as you look for any redeeming interpretation on those tests.

So is love born out of pain? Not really, sometimes it is the fear of loss that brings the realization of love. It is the knowledge that your life and happiness is tied up in the companionship and relationship with another that shows you love.

 I was listening to a radio minister this morning. I usually try not to make the mistake of listening to this guy. He is not familiar with the phrase “I don’t know”. This morning in the first minute of his sermon he mentioned the “Wrath of God” 7 times. That was when I shut him off before I started to yell at the radio, because yelling at the radio is really not arguing a point, but an exercise in futility. I know a lot of “conservative Christians” have a love of the phrase the “wrath of God”. It is used in the Bible, but most often when God’s wrath is mentioned it is because humans have been treating other humans badly, and by badly I mean torture and murder, or neglecting the needs of other humans, such as letting them starve or be homeless. These are the times God says my wrath is kindled against them. So in my humble opinion, if you want to talk about the wrath of God, first look at your life and see if you are doing the sort of things that will bring God’s wrath down on you. You see to me the cross is not a symbol of the wrath of God it is a symbol of the love of God born in pain. Pain from when we rejected God and decided to go our own way, pain from when we decided death was a more palatable alternative than loving God. Pain from when Jesus said, Father if there is any other way to do this, I would prefer it but if it is your will, I will do it (sorry my paraphrase there). God in the person of Jesus died on that cross and was separated from the presence of God, because that was the only way God could get us to love him again in a just manner. It was the only way God could take away the choice man made to die, and give him eternal life once more.

Yea, love seen through pain.

Faith

I know that faith is the assurance of the things hoped for and the conviction of things unseen but;

Do you ever feel like you are hanging upside down and have to rely on someone else to keep you alive? You have to have faith in the one holding you.

Do you ever feel like you can not get the job done on your own and need someone to lift you up? You have to have faith that the one you are relying on to hold you up will not give way.

Do you ever feel like you should be wearing a safety harness, because one misstep and it is a long ways down? You have to have faith that what you are standing on is not going to allow you to slide off.

Do you ever feel like you are way up in the air with not near enough to hang onto? You have to have faith that what you are holding onto as the truth is indeed strong enough to hold.
Sometimes faith is not just a definition, it is living one day at a time in a dangerous world that wants us to think there is no God holding us in his arms, no God is holding us up, no God is a firm foundation, no God is strong enough to keep us where we belong. Nothing could be farther from the truth, God does take an active role in caring for His people.
 Yes I know our boys in the pictures are crazy and have no fear of heights, but if we have faith in our God our fears in life should be stilled. I am definitely not advising anyone to do dangerous activities and assume God will protect them. What I am saying is that God is protecting and keeping us for eternal life with him, and we can have a sure faith that he will hold us till we stand before His throne.

trip down south

Sharon and I traveled down to the Gulf of Mexico this summer

 We stopped at a state park just north of New Orleans. It was a swamp trail. We just parked the car, got out, put on some bug repellant and walked off down the trail.

We met a local man on the trail after we had walked a half mile or so and I asked him how long the trail was. He said it was only about a quarter mile longer till the end. Then he told us we should have walking sticks so we could fend off the snakes. After that of course we did see two snakes. They were not real big though. When we walked back out of the trail I noticed the sign that said you had to sign in and out so the authorities knew if anyone was lost or hurt on the trail. God takes care of fools and children. Knowing my age I will let you guess which one he was caring for that day.

 We were down in Florida when Sharon found another trail along the Gulf that we had to walk.

 

This time we did not put on any bug repellant.  Oh, the chiggers had a feast. Oh, we had itching and pain. It was a beautiful walk through a type of nature I had never seen first hand. Palm trees and hanging moss. A piece of advice, when out in nature in the south DEET is your friend.

Everything was built up in the air about 10 feet. You have to love the way they made this building handicap accessible.

This neighborhood in New Orleans was just rebuilt. A lot of people parked their cars under their houses.

Found a beach on the Atlantic just in time for a storm to roll in and the warning sirens blow to clear the area.

The water on the gulf was clear and warm. I could spend a lot of time there. The black on this beach was where they had burned the seaweed that had ridden the waves in on the previous day.

This was the pool area at one of our hotels. It was surrounded by palm trees. Sometimes I get to attached and bound to the place where I am. I have put down roots that leave me like a tomato plant in a cage. Tied in one place and not able to rejoice in all of God' creation.

Enjoy every day

Its the little things in life that really give pleasure

That is my Great-nephew I am holding. I kind of miss having little baby boys around. I am glad mine are the age they are because every age of your children is a great age, but I still enjoy holding the babies.

Strange though it may seem Micah and Matthew don't want to even give me a hug anymore and they are far too big to hold. Joshua is married and lives an hour and a half away, but they are a blast to have around. I enjoy every day with them.

I know everyone is complaining about the snow in May and I understand. My corn is not planted yet, Tulip Time in Pella is a wreck. But at least enjoy the beauty of the snow.

Think about it for the rest of your life any time anyone complains about the weather in May, you will be able to say; You think this weather is bad why I remember back in 2013 when we had snow on Tulip Time, you kids don't know nothing about bad weather.

Matthew is a senior in Pella Christian High this year. We have had the soccer team at our house for a meal before they play Oskaloosa for the last 3 years.I have enjoyed the short time they are at our house and I will miss the crowd of boys showing up and devouring everything in sight before heading off to the game.

I guess what I am trying to say is enjoy every day, because they pass so quickly and the little babies grow up and get married the older generation passes away. You can't go back and spend more time with the ones you love. Spend it with them now and have fun in every situation.

A time to end and time to begin

This is a picture of my father's family. My Father Arie Spoelstra is the young man in the upper left. As I write this his life here on earth is over.Dad passed away from this life early Monday morning April 22.

He married Wilma Van Zee (what a good looking couple) and set out on a life time of farming. The only camera we had when I was younger was a black and white that was only gotten out for special occasions, which means we don't have many pictures.

Their first son Terry died before he was a year old.

My sister Marlys is on the right and Crissie is on the left.

 

You have to love the seventies. looking back you just wonder "what were we thinking?" Of course you might notice everyone except me looks fairly normal.

Dad always seemed to have a kid or two on his lap. Usually he was feeding them candy when no one was looking.

This is the last family picture that I have. It was taken when there was only one great grandchild and most of the grandchildren weren't married yet. It was a joy yesterday after the funeral when the grandchildren were sitting around and the conversation naturally turned to Predestination, election, man's choice and responsibility. It says a lot about the legacy a man leaves behind when the topic of choice for his descendants is theology and not sports. We will miss you Dad.

On January 7, our new "son" from China arrived. He is with us until the end of the school year. Tony has been a joy to have in our home. He is thoughtful, helpful, kind and has a good sense of humor. It has been interesting to experience America through Tony's eyes and to learn about China through Tony.

Waiting for Tony to arrive at the Des Moines airport. 

Back and forth across the airport hunting for a piece of Tony's missing luggage. The baggage lady did an admirable job of locating it before we left.

Tony with Royce, Matthew and Micah.

On the way home, we stopped at Subway in Carlisle which was an experience with someone who had never seen a Subway before. After we managed to get through the line, we sat down to eat. The manager (or owner) came over, dropped off some cookies and said "Welcome to America". I thought that was so kind.

Tony tells us he looks like a farmer. He is ready to help Royce and Matthew clean up brush and get some firewood.

Tony learned how to use a chain saw and chop wood.

Shoveling the driveway after the latest big snow. He tells us that in China the kids do the shoveling at school. Royce told him the janitor at Pella Christian would be glad to know that.





Recently, Royce and Matthew took Tony along with them to vote for a new county supervisor. (There was a special election because the current supervisor has been elected to state office). Tony was quite amazed that we could pick. In China, he told us, when you vote there is one choice.

Tony is fascinated by squirrels and loves to watch them in the yard. He thinks recliners are the best thing he has discovered in America and he that American food is great. So far, I would say the only thing he is not fond of is salsa.

Pictures 2012

 In February, we attended Dordt's Day of Encouragement. Royce and I really appreciated the spiritual refreshment and we very blessed to be part of a Keith and Kristen Getty concert. Matthew, Micah and friends came with us and we had a wonderful time singing songs of praise.

Matthew played soccer in the spring. He was on both JV and Varsity so he got in alot of running. Cousins Jacob and Seth came from Michigan and were excited to be ball boys for Matthew's game.

Matthew drove Grandpa and Grandma Bandstra's old John Deere to his Jr./Sr. Banquet (prom). Originally the tractor belonged to my mom's parents. It was quite a hit.

 Joshua on the tractor he restored with his Grandpa B.

 We celebrated my parent's 50th wedding anniversary with some family pictures on the family farm.

 

My dad starting the tractor.

 

 

We visited a few state parks this summer. I also did a small Iowa tour with my friend, Sue, her daughter and a neice from Arizona.

 

Adeventureland with family.

 

 

 

It was Matthew's last season of high school cross country. 

 

In October, Matthew made Profession of Faith.