Sharon's birthday

An update for those of you who read this every week, the woman who called me that she was being tested for covid and might have exposed me, tested negative so  am free to interact with others again. It  does give me pain to know that several people are exposed daily at Chrystal Heights as they care for inpatients in the midst of an out break. A big thank you to each one of you who is showing up to help the vulnerable and my condolences to those who are losing loved ones.

 The bats were gone from our vent until Friday and they were Baaack! Now it is down to seeing how uncomfortable I can make them until they find a new permanent home. Somewhere far from me is the goal.

 35 years ago I met this girl who had just graduated from college. She was related to a young man who was our neighbor. He was related to me as well. I asked her for a date, I know, how messed up is that? I had a great uncle who was married to her great aunt. Our family told their children don't marry a Bandstra and their family told their children don't marry a Spoelstra. It was obviously meant to be. How much more can a young couple rebel against the norms than that? Sharon's dad used the same lawyer my family did. The lawyer told Bert his daughter would never be poor if she married Royce. Yea, well I proved that guy wrong.

We married in 1986 and Joshua was born in 89. 

Micah was born in 93 and Matthew in 94. We had 3 sons and life was good. Then the unimaginable happened. Sharon had a physical and they did some blood work. The tests did not come back normal. I had a crash course in Waldenstrom's macroglobulinimia. It is a cancer of the immune system and it is not curable. We had 2 preschool boys and a 3rd grader and the doctors were only offering delaying the inevitable. 

This picture was taken many years later along the roller coaster ride of thinking Sharon could win the battle and then seeing the cancer spread again. I still get tears in my eyes when I look at this picture knowing how brittle she was at then. God is good! After this time of treatment Sharon has done exceedingly well. As of her last tests there is less cancer in her blood now than there was when she was diagnosed 23 years ago (I think I have that calculated correctly). God has heard and answered the prayers of His people in a miraculous way.

Sharon is the joy of my life. I could not survive without her.

I told one of my sons last year that I shorted them by not showing them how to fight with their spouses. He said "yes, you did short us." I hope and pray that they have a relationship like Sharon and I have had. I hope Sharon has the same view of our relationship that I have. I know we had not been married long when I over heard her tell a friend, "I tried the silent treatment on him, but he never noticed." So I know we have had differences but I can't remember them or what they were about. I am not so foolish as to ask Sharon. She might remember because I am sure she was the wronged party not me.

Our family has grown as the boys married.

Sharon now has daughter in laws to perhaps make up somewhat for living in a household of males for so long.

When Sharon was diagnosed, her goal was to survive till Matthew graduated high school. The boys are all through college and married. I think the new goal should be 95 years old,

because I adore her and have no desire to walk this life alone. Sunday is Sharon's birthday and I wish her a happy birthday and many more to come. She brings joy to my life.

Heading out of Des Moines on vacation a couple of years back. Sharon has taught me it is OK to fly somewhere for vacation.

Train station in Chicago. She went with her mom. She hasn't taught me it is OK to ride the train on vacation yet.

If there is a state or federal park, it must be seen.

105 degrees out? As long as there are no bugs we go.

Oasis in the desert? Get your feet wet even if there are signs about dangerous bacteria in the water.

Sitting on the top of a stone mountain wondering why they keep shooting off a canon. Yea, they shoot off the canon as a warning to get off the mountain because lightening is coming. Should have probably read the information before hiking in a couple of miles. We once hiked down a trail in a swamp in Louisiana. When we came back out I read the sign "Do not hike this trail unless you contact the ranger you are on the trail, so there will be a search if you do not come back out." We met another hiker who asked us where our walking sticks were so we could push away the venomous snakes. Lesson is don't travel with Sharon if you want to take the safe path.

Don't drive by a historical site. They must be seen.

Climb to the top of any pyramid (Memphis I think) or tower and look around.

Find interesting places to eat. Had some wonderful meals and experiences in restaurants and some memorably awful experiences (the awful ones make the best stories. The one that was packed with customers but was so filthy that the door ways to the kitchen were black from hands of workers leaving grime. The southern BBQ place where they just added vinegar to boiled pork, Yum) in the picture we are the first customers after a 10 year legal battle that went clear to the Supreme Court, to allow this Subway to open.

Sharon you have taught me to be inquisitive when I did not want to be, enjoy the small pleasures in life, take time to get away and yet allowed me to build a business not once but twice (first one failed spectacularly. When our CPA looked at the numbers and then looked at me, I said "hey, if you are going down leave a big hole in the ground when you hit.") 

Sharon, it has been a whale of a ride. Let's keep enjoying life together for a long time.